Feeling lost

When I was accepted to uni, I had this pre-planned journey I was going to stick by and I was 95% certain that this was the path I was going to follow. My big plan? Go to uni for the next 3 years and get into public relations in the fashion industry.

It wasn't until I did more research and I realized that I wanted to go into fashion editorial as I love writing and fashion.

But then I was looking into psychology and becoming a therapist, and I went down this rabbit hole of endless research. The more I did so, the more I became certain that I wanted to get a PHD in clinical psychology. So now I have 3 different career paths, yet I have no idea which path to take.

I went from knowing what I wanted to do with my degree, to not knowing at all. I started having these conflicting thoughts about my future, even to the point of questioning my reasoning for going back to school. I started feeling lost. I did not know which path to take, or even what my purpose in life was.

"What am I meant to do in this world?"

"Which direction do I go?"

"What if the decision I make turns out to be the biggest mistake of my life?"

These are common questions we ask ourselves when we are unsure about what to do moving forward. It can be a scary feeling not knowing what the future holds for us. However, feeling lost does not have to be this evil thing that undermines our capabilities. It is a very normal thing to experience, and it can even aid us to think about our situation on a much deeper level. I'll touch upon some tips that helped me to navigate this feeling.

Focus on the things you can control and let go of the ones you cannot control

I remember going through a recruitment process for a company over a year ago, whereby there were about 2-3 rounds of interviews plus a skill test. After going through all of this, I had a final scheduled call, which I assumed they would let me know if I got the position or not. Turns out, the position would be revoked entirely due to economic uncertainties.

Being one of the final candidates, I was quite taken aback because I was not expecting that outcome. After almost 2 months of interviews, I felt like I was back at square one. I resorted to endless job searches and spending my nights pondering on the "what if's?" Looking back, there was absolutely nothing I could've done differently because it was out of my control. We sometimes forget that not everything can be fixed, and you know what? That's okay. Once we accept this notion, we won't be so hard on ourselves when something does not go as planned. Plus, think of it this way: Why are we wasting our precious time and energy on situations that are out of our control, when we could focus on the things we can control?

Not only will we be more productive by coming up with realistic scenarios that can benefit us, but we will be less harder on ourselves while alleviating unnecessary pressure.

Factor in the opinions of others, but make the final decision by yourself

I believe the worst feeling is making a decision based on the opinions of others, only for it to not work out in the end. It's not about the outcome that matters, rather it's how we thought that the opinions of others are more important than our own. We are further discrediting our capabilities of making our own decisions, which sets up this notion that we need to seek validation from others. It's not to say that we cannot factor in the opinions of our loved ones, this is actually a great idea in order to get more clarification on a certain subject! However, collecting all of these different opinions and making the final decision will ensure that you are doing what's right for you. At the end of the day, you are not living for other people, you are living for yourself.

Feeling lost has its advantages

Feeling lost is a hidden gift that forces you to discover new opportunities outside of your comfort zone. When you are put in a position whereby you can't rely on familiar solutions or if a situation is completely new to you, it forces you to think outside of the box. It forces you to come up with new solutions that may seem daunting at first, but guess what? Doing the things you fear will make you stronger. It will make you more resilient, so when new challenges arises, at least you will know that you can get through it.

It kind of reminds me of the notion of "having nothing to lose." When you feel lost in your path, you don't necessarily have specific guidelines to follow, such as a structured plan that tells you which direction to go. At this point, it is up to us to decide what we are going to do and how we are going to do it. In a sense, it is actually freeing as we are making our own decisions. Yes, it is scary, especially if you thrive on structure (like me). However, it is a good opportunity to work on our critical thinking skills and explore new options that are out of our comfort zone. You get to test out various possibilities while simultaneously seeing what serves you and what doesn't.

We won't feel lost forever

It is important to remember that we won't feel lost forever. Think of this period of your life as a way to get creative when it comes to your decision-making process. And even so, this negative connotation associated with feeling lost further propels us to feel bad if we do not have a set plan or journey. It is not realistic to know exactly what you're going to do while pre-planning your every move. Doesn't that sound very robotic? I mean, what kind of life would we be living if we knew exactly what was going to happen? It's like watching a movie but knowing all of the spoilers... Life would be mundane, and is that really living?

Finals thoughts

I don't think we are truly lost. We may feel lost, which is a completely valid emotion. However, this feeling is solely there because we are confronted with a situation that we've never experienced before, such as big life decisions or pivotal changes that can affect the trajectory of our journey. Though isn't that what life is about? Facing new challenges and exploring the options the universe has to offer us. It is a scary, yet beautiful feeling to know that we are in charge of shaping our lives through the actions we take.

If you feel lost right now, just know that you are stronger than you think you are. You will get through this period of uncertainty one way or another. You don't need to have everything figured out. In fact, you don't need to have anything figured out right now. Life is all about trial and error.

And let me tell you, not having everything planned out can make for exciting new experiences that we would have never imagined possible.

Trust the process, and you will get to where you are meant to go.